Luky Says Thanksgiving Is The SETI Holiday

He's been concentrating on the recent spate of Sci-Fi TV fare . . . Heroes, Threshold, Dead Like Me. Luky says they are often not all that well written, but the average Sci-Fi premise keeps increasing in intelligence.

According to Luky, Threshold is another alien invasion theme, but it has a more intelligent rationale behind it. I think he means that it is simply less predictable than the normal body-snatcher scenario. I may not share his enthusiasm for discovering E.T. - yes, I'm into it, but Luky is ready to volunteer for the Allen Array team - but I understand his appreciation for this Threshold premise.

I asked him why he thinks the Allen Telescope Array should be hiring him. My goal was to inspire our sidetrack conversation on the spectral variations of astronomy and E.T.-related topics, and thus away from the family and personal emotion-type stuff that this day normally evokes. Luky's answer was quick and to the point.

"There is no human currently in that program who can possibly do the day-to-day sniffing of which I'm capable."

"I don't think their perusal of computer screens and celestial signal reports translates to the sort of 'sniffing' you have in mind right now - even if an ATA engineer occasionally uses that term to refer to his job."

"Sniffing is sniffing," Luky responded, "no matter the particular task nuances, no human can perform it as well as a Malamute."

"Well, I'm not going to worry about losing you in a Berkeley HR interview."

"You have to get caught up with the times," he said. "I already have my site registration and I'm helping virtually - from here."

"What?"

"Sure. Go check it out (http://log.atarray.org/). I'll log in under my personal account later and give you the latest update."

"Oh my Gort, you're going to get us in trouble one of these days!"

"Just relax," he started speaking very calmly as if he were beginning a prepared monologue, "Thanksgiving is the SETI holiday . . . the team will be happy to see that virtual teammates are checking in today."

"The SETI holiday?" I asked.

"Of course! You don't think those original North American natives thought the whole bunch of ocean-crossing invaders were indigenous to the planet, do you? Those pilgrims were the first E.T. invaders as far as they were concerned. Amazing, isn't it?"

"What?"

"That after 385 years of celebrating the bounty of new worlds with newcomers, my Wolf kin are still looking for intelligent life outside our pack!"

I knew there was an insult buried in there somewhere, but I figured finding it would cost me my appetite.

Luky says Happy Thanksgiving!

Luky Is Not A Technophile

Luky has been funny for the past two days. See, his mommy, Kiki, is not feeling well, so she's at the Lake House resting up. Of course, that doesn't mean we don't need her tying into a conference call from time to time . . . and to make things as convenient as possible, I simply put her on the speakerphone.

Well, it turns out that our speakerphone is a pretty good model. It's loud and sounds pretty true. So, whenever Kiki says anything through the speaker Luky is convinced she's in the room somewhere - just playing Hide and Seek.

I told her what was going on and that inspired her to try to calm him with a few words of love and encouragement . . . like a personal address, calling his name. That did it! Now he's really convinced she's here, and he has to start walking around looking for her.

I tried to explain it to him, but - despite his comprehension of Wittgenstein, Maslow and Cosmology - like many of us, electronic gadgets just leave him baffled!

Under The Weather!

Luky had the nerve, this afternoon, to ask me to relate another big story about his strength and courage. I say "nerve" because it was almost laughable.

In the first place, it's raining in Atlanta . . . no, not that real "cats and Wolves" rain, as Luky describes it. (He refuses to use the generic "cats and dogs" cliché to describe a real downpour.) But this has been one of those all-day-long, soaking sheets-of-water rains where, after several dreary hours you actually feel soggy - regardless of how warm and dry your personal environment might be. For the past thirty minutes - after it turned dark out - the sound of the car tires sloshing through the puddle streets makes you want to raise your legs to avoid the gutter spray.

For anyone who might not know Luky very well, he's a storm wimp! He hides from thunder - and while today's sky has delivered few rumbles, there were one or two that pushed him toward the bedroom and away from the big windows. I didn't see any lightning flashes, and when I asked him about it he just looked at me like I was describing the scene from a Clive Barker movie.

Of course, a day like this means that our "business" ventures are going to get us wet. Even when we cheat on the "number 1's" and step carefully out the front door, away from the building marquee awning to the manicured trees of Midtown, Luky crouches, flattens his ears and starts blinking as if he'd wandered onto the rifle range at Parris Island and was dodging bullets. He can't fool me - I know he considers the large umbrella we bought at Ikea to be more valuable than a Kevlar vest!

Well, this won't be the first time I've blown his cover, but he won't be happy with this picture. The thing is, his mommy, Kiki, is not feeling well today. She's home, by herself, cuddled into her warm, lonely bed trying to beat back some sort of Fall bug. We both want her to get well real fast - that's for sure. Maybe it's just the case that when his mommy gets sick, Luky feels like he's under the weather, too!

Luky Loves Elvis Movies

For some reason Luky has always liked Elvis Presley's movies. He was telling me that we're about to see the 50th anniversary of the release of Elvis's first movie, Love Me Tender (first released November 15, 1956).

I told Luky that I'd written a tribute poem to Elvis once. He made me look it up and recite it. He doesn't like it. However, Luky says that my poem is not really about Elvis. He says it's more about fame and stardom, and the fact that a celebrity's fans often prevent the star they love so much from enjoying a personal life.

I agree. But anyway, that's why Luky wanted me to include the following.

Backstage Mass

And Now A Personal No-it
To Those Who Choose To Dough-et
Upon The God-Like Po-ets
Who Don't Know Shit, And show It!
Or:
A Little Fart-4 Down Seventy-Six.

Fan, fan . . . I'm your man,
larger than life when I began,
an agent-hatched charlatan,
proud to play your Peter Pan.
I need you on my caravan,
'cause the more you think of who I am,
the less you'll see that you, too, can
learn my trick and grow it.

It's a midnight ride for all revered
'til fame's sonlight has fully seared
all the saints and those they reared,
the children who are paired and peered,
who follow fads, both faked and feared,
who always rode, and never steered,
and behind the guitar grenadier,
who hates the stadium's loving stare. . .
those fainting in the highest tier,
drunk because they got so near,
their gods who know the fans are dear. . .
and they all-so serve, who sit and cheer!

Load To Greatsland:

His heart thumbed over the final page
while he sat and took his dump of rage,
"Why can't they see that center stage
is just a well-lit, barless cage?"
And then, The King checked outta here!

Well yes, it's sort of sad. I thought it was funny when I wrote it. Luky's not laughing, though. It's raining but he says, tough - I have to take him out right now!

Luky Took A Few Days Off

It was election day and I recognized, all of a sudden, that Luky had not dictated a post for more than a week.

"I've been planning my post-pup strategy," he said.

"Your 'post-pup' strategy? What is that?"

"You recall the story I told you about the legendary Wolf pack where the young pup of the great Wolf leader wound up in power, but lacked the wisdom to help maintain the pack's glory."

"Sure, I remember," I said . . . plus, I knew I could go back and find that post (http://philosopherdog.blogspot.com/2006/09/pup-politics-i-think-luky-preferred.html) and pull it up in case he wanted to test my ability to recall his insights.

"Well," he started again with that prepare-to-hear-something-astounding tone, "I've been trying to tell you - without shocking you - that the reign of pup ignorance is coming to an end."

"Really? I thought that - what were they called . . . 'Lobo Vestment,' or something . . ."

Luky just shook his head and snorted.

"Well, anyway . . . I thought they were long gone."

"I'm not talking about Wolves," he said. "I'm talking about human leaders - well, if you can call them 'leaders.' Actually, I was concerned to try to deliver my message without offending you too much. I was trying to prepare a more subtle, perhaps symbolic, sort of story."

"Oh."

"Okay," Luky's exasperation was showing, "anyway, I found the perfect consolation gift."

"Really? I'm all about gifts."

"Take a look at this T-shirt picture," Luky said. "It's just one of the fantastic designs from an extraordinarily clever and creative new company called, 'Punshui' (http://www.punshuidesign.com/); and I think it really describes what is happening this week - and what will continue to happen as you ((here again, as he occasionally does, Luky is using "you" to mean something like, "all you lunatic humans")) permit more intelligent people to lead your pack."

"I want one," I said, without having to feign a genuine tone.

Luky looked up and gave me his best panting, half-laughing smile, showing all of his Lupine carnivorous power.

"You need one!" he exclaimed.