GOP Costumes?
Luky is getting geared up for Halloween again. Last year he wanted to go as a great white shark - Carcharodon carcharias of the family Lamnidae - according to American Heritage Dictionary (http://www.bartleby.com/61/). He came up with that because our friends at that time, Hitch and Cole, and their human pack-mates, Scott and Robin, thought Luky's seal grey coloring looked a little shark-like . . . at least as much as a dog can look shark-like.
I've since convinced Luky - it wasn't hard - that sharks . . . even great whites . . . do not match the awesome, fearsome appearance to your average everyday Wolf. He accepted my assessment and walked off shaking his head, obviously flattered but not wanting to admit it.
He really got me the other day, though! He said the one thing he knew for sure was that he couldn't go as any sort of classic humanoid monster. Clearly, this was a call to debate, and I can't help but step right in!
"You mean there's no humanoid costume you'd consider wearing for Halloween?"
"No. At least, not the fun, scary monsters of books and movies. Humans have evolved beyond those creatures when it comes to fear!"
"Wait a minute . . . you wouldn't even consider dressing as some of the most venerable monsters of all time - I mean, think about it . . . like, not even Frankenstein or Dracula?"
"No way! Not scary!!!"
"Hey," I said, thinking I might surprise him with a direction he hadn't considered, "what about something slimy and oozy, like that Creature From Beneath The Sea, or perhaps something dusty and moldy, like The Mummy?"
"Nope. Not even close to monstery enough for these days!" He snorted.
Then it hit me - what was I thinking? Of course . . . "Yo," I called to him, "what about The Wolfman?"
Luky actually stopped for a second. I could tell he was really thinking about it. Indeed, how could he deny the Wolfman?
"Well, maybe . . ." he kept thinking, and then really blew me away. "Nope. Not enough. That just doesn't match up to the heights of terror at which we arrived in these past few years," he said with confidence.
"Really?" I asked him. "Why not even the Wolfman?" I asked, now at a loss.
"Haven't you been paying attention?" he responded. "All those humanoid monsters are so meager now compared to the real-life horrors you've got running around your Congress and White House - I just don't see how you can expect to scare anybody with movie monster make-up."
"Congress? The White House?" I had not expected him to get newsworthy on me.
"Sure. I mean, I hate to sound too caught up in the day-to-day of mankind, but I'm sorry . . . unless you've got a mask of Mark Foley, or Tom Delay, or Dick Cheney, or Rumsfeld - or, maybe creepiest of all - your Little Bush Pup, I can't imagine how anyone is going to believe there's a real chance of getting tricked!"
Damn . . . I hate it when he makes that much sense!
I've since convinced Luky - it wasn't hard - that sharks . . . even great whites . . . do not match the awesome, fearsome appearance to your average everyday Wolf. He accepted my assessment and walked off shaking his head, obviously flattered but not wanting to admit it.
He really got me the other day, though! He said the one thing he knew for sure was that he couldn't go as any sort of classic humanoid monster. Clearly, this was a call to debate, and I can't help but step right in!
"You mean there's no humanoid costume you'd consider wearing for Halloween?"
"No. At least, not the fun, scary monsters of books and movies. Humans have evolved beyond those creatures when it comes to fear!"
"Wait a minute . . . you wouldn't even consider dressing as some of the most venerable monsters of all time - I mean, think about it . . . like, not even Frankenstein or Dracula?"
"No way! Not scary!!!"
"Hey," I said, thinking I might surprise him with a direction he hadn't considered, "what about something slimy and oozy, like that Creature From Beneath The Sea, or perhaps something dusty and moldy, like The Mummy?"
"Nope. Not even close to monstery enough for these days!" He snorted.
Then it hit me - what was I thinking? Of course . . . "Yo," I called to him, "what about The Wolfman?"
Luky actually stopped for a second. I could tell he was really thinking about it. Indeed, how could he deny the Wolfman?
"Well, maybe . . ." he kept thinking, and then really blew me away. "Nope. Not enough. That just doesn't match up to the heights of terror at which we arrived in these past few years," he said with confidence.
"Really?" I asked him. "Why not even the Wolfman?" I asked, now at a loss.
"Haven't you been paying attention?" he responded. "All those humanoid monsters are so meager now compared to the real-life horrors you've got running around your Congress and White House - I just don't see how you can expect to scare anybody with movie monster make-up."
"Congress? The White House?" I had not expected him to get newsworthy on me.
"Sure. I mean, I hate to sound too caught up in the day-to-day of mankind, but I'm sorry . . . unless you've got a mask of Mark Foley, or Tom Delay, or Dick Cheney, or Rumsfeld - or, maybe creepiest of all - your Little Bush Pup, I can't imagine how anyone is going to believe there's a real chance of getting tricked!"
Damn . . . I hate it when he makes that much sense!
posted by RAM at 9:05 PM
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