Barketing The Moon

The subject this morning was marketing. Luky was still fascinated with the Moon and commented on the fact that it remains one of the few places within easy view of humans not covered with brand images. Yes, it does retain a few astronaut boot tracks, but in this (as Luky calls it) era of "badvertising" when - for the past couple of decades - agencies seem to have graffitied their clients' logos on every otherwise clean space, there's the Moon. Funny thing is . . . we know it's a ball of mostly ash . . . a giant crusty cinder - a briquette born of a fiery collision with Earth and still drifting slowly away into the night sky . . . and yet it looks to be the cleanest piece of real estate in sight.

Well, Luky says it's all just "barketing" . . . "the barketing industry," he calls it. I presume he recognizes his malapropism - and perhaps he intends it - but I think it's more the way he talks and it just turns out that his pronunciation may be highly apropos!

So, anyway, Luky has never believed in branding. He says that was an unfortunate term that crept into the advertising lexicon with as much rationality as a bumper sticker relays political philosophy or patriotism.

"Coke is a brand," Luky says, "and no matter how clever the campaign might be, there's no way to 'brand' a mousepad or a futon dog bed."

Actually, he says he doesn't even think GM has any brands . . . Luky says that branding is the result (and I think I agree with him) when a product becomes so associated with its category (like the way we once ordered "Coke" when we meant "any cola soft drink") that the brand has to start marketing against itself to make sure the public doesn't destroy the trademark.

"Remember when," he begins this question as he's walking into the weediest, woodsiest section of the dark, predawn dog park - so I can't effectively debate his point of view, "those restaurants started asking if Pepsi was okay whenever you ordered a Coke? Now that was an indication of branding! Nobody says they want to go 'Chevying' when they mean they want to go for a drive," he says. "Now, when that happens we'll know that 'Chevy' has been branded."

"So," I ask as we walked back toward the loft . . . the cool, early morning air rustling ever so slightly almost like the Moon itself was fanning us as it sailed by overhead, "doesn't that mean the Moon has been pretty well branded?"

Luky sometimes gets frustrated with me when I ask dumb questions but I guess he didn't consider that a dumb question. He just sat at the curb for a moment and looked up as if he were about to howl. And then he almost whispered through his whiskers, "Don't you wish THAT product was in your portfolio?"